As we all have lifes challenges ahead, we have to remember how we got to where we are today, and for me that was a long road. As much as I wish I could say that my life was an easy one, it has not been, for I grew up poor in a small logging town, known as Estacada Oregon! My mom had me when she was 32, and my brother when she was 30. She was a waitress who supported her two children on a small wage. Food stamps had not been invented yet, so we got "commodities" from the government.
Let me give you a brief Mother history... Mom was born 10-28-1929, and was the oldest of a large family. She was born during the depression and they were not a rich family by any stretch of the word. So, my mom knew how to stretch a dollar and we never went without, we did not have luxuries, but, we had a home, clothes and food, heck, we even had a babysitter! So, we were never left alone. One home I remember was a little apartment, it was tiny, but, it was home. My brother and I had discovered a dirt pile out back, and let me tell ya.. sticks, rocks and a little imagination turned that dirt pile in to a little city with roads and everything. We even had a TV, and it had a remote.. my brother and I! It was not a great life, but I will tell you this, we had fun! I do not remember ever being unhappy as a child. We did not have video games, or 100 channels to choose from (we had 4) so we had to have an imagination to get us through the day.
Ok, so I digress.. let me get back to the story.. as we were on commodieties, we did not have a lot of luxury food, but, we never went hungry. My mom being an older mom, knew how to make bread, cookies, cakes, and how to stretch a meal. I remember one luxury meal (and no.. we did not have any fast food places out there when I was little.. no Dominos or McDonalds) we would get a Chef Boyrlee pizza or spagetti in the box, and that my friends was a great treat!
I guess it all comes down to what you want out of life.. do you want to have a life, or do you want to work to maintain a lifestyle that looks good to everyone else?
With this being said, I have changed my life 360 degrees from what it was just a few years ago. It is not about what we have materially, but what we have as a family. As I look into the past, with my eyes wide open now, I see that the happiest times in this life were not about money, but about quality family time. THIS is what has made me challenge myself to do what I know is right.
How many times have you sat and looked at your childhood and said it was a bad one? BUT how many times have you looked at the good things in your childhood? I know that when I was growing up, I was always jealous of what the other children had, but, they did not have what I had, a mom that would take care of us first. Some of the kids had homes, all the toys that they wanted, but they did not have a family dynamic. My mom did not drink alot when I was growing up, and she did date and go out. But, she was home when she needed to be. She did not spend all of her time at the bar, I guess we were lucky.
It is these things that drives me to my passion to help others, even as poor as we were, we always had money or food to give during times of food drives and other things. It was all about what we could do for others.. even as far as just being there for them. As I am approaching my 50's.. it amazes me how often we change our outlook on life and what our triggers are that do so. For me, my abuse, my brother, grand-daughter and step-father dying has all played a part in this goal of mine, but, it is also about honoring my mother who has always been a tower of strength to me when I needed an example of what I should and could be.
My mother did not get beyond a grade school education, but, she had skills that could raise a family, some people that have degrees can not even do that! All we need to do is look at our past to see how we can make it in these troubled times, protect our children, help our parents, and pray daily for those who are in pain and do not know who God is!
As for me, I will continue my quest to make my dream a reality, a legacy that will not only honor my grand-daughter, but, my mom and myself. It it is not about making a name for myself, but all the trials and tribulations that we go through on a daily basis, and I want to make a difference... I want no one else to be abused, or hurt during pregnancy!
As I look forward to this step.. I Love all of you.. who I know or not who support me and my cause.. soon we will have a gathering and we will see how far we have come..
Blessings and Love to all
P
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