It is a beginning

As we all have lifes challenges ahead, we have to remember how we got to where we are today, and for me that was a long road. As much as I wish I could say that my life was an easy one, it has not been, for I grew up poor in a small logging town, known as Estacada Oregon! My mom had me when she was 32, and my brother when she was 30. She was a waitress who supported her two children on a small wage. Food stamps had not been invented yet, so we got "commodities" from the government.

Let me give you a brief Mother history... Mom was born 10-28-1929, and was the oldest of a large family. She was born during the depression and they were not a rich family by any stretch of the word. So, my mom knew how to stretch a dollar and we never went without, we did not have luxuries, but, we had a home, clothes and food, heck, we even had a babysitter! So, we were never left alone. One home I remember was a little apartment, it was tiny, but, it was home. My brother and I had discovered a dirt pile out back, and let me tell ya.. sticks, rocks and a little imagination turned that dirt pile in to a little city with roads and everything. We even had a TV, and it had a remote.. my brother and I! It was not a great life, but I will tell you this, we had fun! I do not remember ever being unhappy as a child. We did not have video games, or 100 channels to choose from (we had 4) so we had to have an imagination to get us through the day.

Ok, so I digress.. let me get back to the story.. as we were on commodieties, we did not have a lot of luxury food, but, we never went hungry. My mom being an older mom, knew how to make bread, cookies, cakes, and how to stretch a meal. I remember one luxury meal (and no.. we did not have any fast food places out there when I was little.. no Dominos or McDonalds) we would get a Chef Boyrlee pizza or spagetti in the box, and that my friends was a great treat!

I guess it all comes down to what you want out of life.. do you want to have a life, or do you want to work to maintain a lifestyle that looks good to everyone else?

With this being said, I have changed my life 360 degrees from what it was just a few years ago. It is not about what we have materially, but what we have as a family. As I look into the past, with my eyes wide open now, I see that the happiest times in this life were not about money, but about quality family time. THIS is what has made me challenge myself to do what I know is right.

How many times have you sat and looked at your childhood and said it was a bad one? BUT how many times have you looked at the good things in your childhood? I know that when I was growing up, I was always jealous of what the other children had, but, they did not have what I had, a mom that would take care of us first. Some of the kids had homes, all the toys that they wanted, but they did not have a family dynamic. My mom did not drink alot when I was growing up, and she did date and go out. But, she was home when she needed to be. She did not spend all of her time at the bar, I guess we were lucky.

It is these things that drives me to my passion to help others, even as poor as we were, we always had money or food to give during times of food drives and other things. It was all about what we could do for others.. even as far as just being there for them. As I am approaching my 50's.. it amazes me how often we change our outlook on life and what our triggers are that do so. For me, my abuse, my brother, grand-daughter and step-father dying has all played a part in this goal of mine, but, it is also about honoring my mother who has always been a tower of strength to me when I needed an example of what I should and could be.

My mother did not get beyond a grade school education, but, she had skills that could raise a family, some people that have degrees can not even do that! All we need to do is look at our past to see how we can make it in these troubled times, protect our children, help our parents, and pray daily for those who are in pain and do not know who God is!

As for me, I will continue my quest to make my dream a reality, a legacy that will not only honor my grand-daughter, but, my mom and myself. It it is not about making a name for myself, but all the trials and tribulations that we go through on a daily basis, and I want to make a difference... I want no one else to be abused, or hurt during pregnancy!

As I look forward to this step.. I Love all of you.. who I know or not who support me and my cause.. soon we will have a gathering and we will see how far we have come..

Blessings and Love to all
P

A friend in pain

Recently, a friend of mine has a grandchild who has a severe head trauma. They do not know the outcome, and they are in pain. In reflecting on their pain, I find that at these times, is why I want to have this dream become a reality. I feel that there is a place that is needed for them to go and have a place to talk, cry, pray and be with others.

We have our families, our church families and our work families, however, there are those times when we want to go talk, vent, and totally let out all the emotions that are there and let them out. I know that it is a sad thing when you are in pain, and you do not know what to do with the emotions! Keeping them "canned" up can cause problems within the family unit. When going through stages, anger is the one that can cause things to be said that are truly not meant to be said. Words can hurt..so one would need to be vigilant with ones emotions.

I have learned so much regarding the emotions all the way around. In looking toward the future, the people that need help are not getting it. We have families falling apart due to the lack of emotions and communication. Communication is a key factor regarding the resolution of an issue. One of my husbands, we kept a journal on the living room table, and we would write to each other during the day. Even a simple I love you or thought, or a "honey do" list. We worked different shifts, and we had limited time to talk, back then we had no cell phones or computers, so that was our way of instant messaging each other. It worked for us. Just a thought!!

Well, my prayers are with my friend and her family!

P

A new day!

Each and every day I wake up with new hope! I pray that there has been a night without pain to a child or a loved one, sadly I turn on the news to find that there has been a child hurt or a loved one killed. I find it very painful! To think that someone would intentionally kill another person is insane to me. There is not reason for this to happen. I think of the people that witnessed the event, and all the help that they are going to need after the fact. Most of the time, it is not even remotely thought of down the road, until one day, the witness has a flashback and poof! It is there for all them to playback in their mental tape over and over again. Where is the help down the road for these families and people. Long since the event is over, they are people who are still in need of help. This is yet another reason that my lil shelter is vital. I feel that there is a need and the need is great Sadly, the hoops I am jumping through takes time.. sigh! Each day is a wasted life.. life that we could have saved. What does it take to make others see we can do to if we are given a chance to do it? In all, this is not just a dream, this can be a reality.. if only we can believe. Please pray that one day this can work out for all intended.

P

Each Day...

I pray that there will be no child born with meth in their little systems, but, we all know it is not a reality, that is a dream! As I look forward to being able to turn this little dream into a reality, each step is a step! It does not matter how long it will take, it will happen! I am going to school, conferences, and still, I do not have enough information! Starting this non-profit has been a challenge with all that goes on, but dangnabit!! ima gonna make it happen.

We all have our burdens to bear, to me this is not a burden, but, a gift from God. There are several things that I could be doing in my spare time but, I am on here networking and trying to make a go of this dream. Some days I get told no so many times, I want to toss in the towel! However, for those that know me, they know that is not an option! I have been told that it is something I can not do, makes me want to do it more and more.

As we look into the future, there is always a person that needs help, but help is vital for those who are ready. Do you realize that every 5 seconds, someone is being hurt by their so called parter or loved one? I have a hard time when I see what has happened on the news, and you know that someone had to have heard something, but did they call 911 or even offer to help? When I was being abused, I now that the neighbors heard, but did nothing. When I think back to that, it hurts, however, it was nothing new! As in those days, there was nothing amazing about it, it was happening all the time, and it was just a domestic dispute, which basically meant: I am going to leave you hear to get the crap knockd out of you when I leave!!

Laws have changed, people have been saved, some have been injured, some had died. With each woman that has died, someone lost a mother, sister, grandchild, and/or friend. They cry for those who have died, and hae pain for those who have or are battling now in saving their life. Do you know that there is only one dv shelter in Vancouver? Unbelievable! This needs to be remedied!

As my challenges go on, I will do what needs to be done.. please pray !

Peggy

Welcome!

This blog is dedicated to those who have lost a grandchild due to the mother taking Meth. Let me share my story.. In June of 2005, a lovely grand-daughter, Anna was born, she was soo pretty. The perfect looking lil lady. BUT, there was a slight problem both the baby and the mom tested positive for meth. The mom and dad left the hospital and Anna was left all alone. When I first saw her, she had tubes running out of several places. The first look, the tears started to fall, I had never seen anything like that in my life.

We were told that she had no gag reflexes, and that she would need 24/7 care. Days passed and she was well enough to go to a medical foster home. It was on July 8th, 2005, we got the call that she was back in the hospital, dying. We went rushing to her side, only to hear the physicians tell me that she was not going to live. I had a friend come up and give her a blessing, and then as I held her, they took the respirator off, and for 42.5 minutes, later, this little angel, went home. She passed through the veil to be a Jesus' side.

It was at that point that I knew I had to do something, and my dream was born! Anna's Nana's Place, a place for help, hope and healing. It is my dream to open and run a non-profit that will service the grandparents and other family members, and also help victims of domestic violence.

I am a 23 year survivor of domestic violence, and I feel that in today's society there is never enough help for those in danger from their loved ones. It is a sad state of affairs when you turn on the news and see another senseless death at the hands of a loved one.

Currently, I have my Bachelors of Science in Human Development, and I am working on my Masters degree. I feel that the time is right for me to be able to help others, at least on a part-time basis, until I can get the funding to be able to be there full-time.

For now, this is my why... what is yours?